Hey, who among us hasn’t found themselves angry due to a lack of beer, picked up a ceramic squirrel and started stabbing people with it? I know one time we ran out of Red Stripe at the house and I picked up this porcelain panther, went outside and stabbed like 300 people. To death.
None of them had Red Stripe, man. They didn’t deserve to live.
Keep up to date with everything in Chicago sports by following The Chicago Homer on Twitter.