The Morning Constitutional: So We’re Still Talking About A Mascot, Huh?

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I love this city, but sometimes Chicago acts like the biggest collection of hayseeds ever assembled. Nobody feels slighted for no real reason like a Chicagoan.

When a comedian says he doesn’t like our pizza on his show, the local news does a story about it. Chicagoans respond to small, insignificant things like this on a regular basis. It’s so strange to me because the one thing the national media says about Chicago that nobody seems to fight, in spite of the fact it’s completely false, is that this city is a war zone. But I’m not going to get into that since there’s something so much more important going on.

That damned Cubs mascot.

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Clark The Cub Is Team’s Latest Mistake

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On Monday afternoon the internet was abuzz with the news of the new addition at Wrigley Field. I speak, of course, about Clark the Cub. The new mascot of the Chicago Cubs.

Now, I could make fun of this, but I won’t. Not because it would be too easy and I like a challenge, because I don’t. Easy jokes are just fine with me. Nor is it because I’m a White Sox fan, and I have no room to talk considering I have no fucking clue what the White Sox mascot, Southpaw, is even supposed to be.

I’m leaving it alone because when you’re over the age of 12 a mascot is supposed to be stupid. They aren’t there for the adults.

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